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RPGs: Savoring the Flavor of Jones’ D&D Spellcasting Soda

posted Jul 28, 2012, 11:51 PM by Douglas Sun   [ updated Jul 28, 2012, 11:52 PM ]
Originally posted: March 22, 2011

Well, I haven’t actually gotten around to savoring the actual flavor. My 12-pack of the Jones Limited Edition D&D pop, which I discussed here, just arrived this afternoon, and I promptly stuck half of it in the fridge to chill. The riddle of which actual flavor goes with which allusive flavor name will not have to wait that long for solution, however, because they’re printed right on the bottle.

Dwarven Draught is root beer. Which makes sense.

Sneak Attack is cream soda. A bit troubling, since I don’t really like cream soda.

Eldritch blast is green apple. Which sounds rather too wholesome for something called ‘eldritch.’

Bigby’s Crushing Thirst Destroyer is cola. Okay.

Potion of Healing is black cherry. I’m good with that. Maybe black cherry pop isn’t to your taste, but I’ve always liked it. In fact, I used to like Shasta because for the longest time, no one else seemed to make black cherry soda.

And finally, as my old Decipher colleague Ross Isaacs warned me, Illithid Brain Juice is grape. This is perhaps my biggest disappointment. I like grape soda, too, but part of me was hoping for actual extract of mind flayer on the surmise that it would act as a more effective pick-me-up than the Jolt caffeine mints I’ve been popping.

Well, what did I expect for $1.50 a bottle, not including shipping.

Faugh! Who needs milk, when I can start my day with a green apple-flavored blast of eldritch power?